FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG

Don't be a dodo!!! Spread your wings and soar with Stay Fly, Ornithologists PHG sunglasses. These professorial frames won't slip or bounce while you live your best life. Unlike the dodos, who lived on the island Mauritius, and watched all their eggs get eaten by pigs, cats and monkeys. What a bunch of losers! We're not trying to scare you or anything, but the dodo made absolutely zero attempts to stay fly, and now it's extinct. Nuff said.

NOBEL PRIZE MEETS BILLBOARD

Two ornithologists released a pop-rap song full of cheesy bird puns! (And they're both going through an existential crisis.)